What a Sight!

This is what I pulled up to last night when I got home...

I don't know if there was a storm or what, but one of the large limbs on one of the pecan trees gave out.

Then I was oh-so-rudely awakened this morning by the cold water in the shower. Evidently, the pilot light on the hot water heater went out, so a cold shower this morning it was! Luckily, I have some pretty cool friends that take care of me when Dan's out of town, and one of them loaned me her handy man to light the pilot...or she loaned me the pilot to light...anyway, thanks kdp!

Be Prepared...This One's Gonna be Lengthy!

Okay, so Wednesday, right smack dab in the middle of camp, I had gone to my room for just a minute and saw that I had a voicemail on my cell phone. It was my sister telling me that there was no emergency, but she had something to tell me, call her when I could. I decided I'd call her later. Keep this in mind...I'll come back to it later.

Usually, I wasn't able to get ready for service until it had already started. Once we made sure the girls were out of their rooms and the cabins were locked, we were able to go get dressed. As I was getting ready, I saw a picture in my mind of me being prayed for to have children. Immediately, my defenses went up because past experiences have shown me that if I psych myself up to be prayed for, and it doesn't happen, it's hard to deal with afterward. Also, I had been told it was going to be "Holy Spirit night", so I didn't really think that he would be calling anyone up for healing. But the picture in my mind was still there, and I felt peace in my heart, so I told the Lord I would do whatever He wanted that night.

It turns out that it was not specifically "Holy Spirit night". Jason spoke on trusting the Lord with all your heart, leaning not on your own understanding...I needed everything he spoke about. At the end, he asked everyone that needed healing in their bodies to stand up. I stood. He had the band come up and lead us back into a time of worship.

Everyone just began worshipping. Some kids just began going up to front. Because of me coming in late and the limited seating, Dan and I were not sitting together. As I was worshipping, I felt him grab my hand and leading me up to the front. Normally, I would have resisted, but I told the Lord I'd do whatever He wanted me to do, so I went. Together, we just lifted our hands and worshipped, then the Holy Spirit came over Dan, and he laid his hand on my tummy and prayed powerfully. It was a very special time.

The speaker then began calling people to the front with certain ailings, like migrains. I thought about going back to my seat, but I just felt like I needed to stay. After he prayed for the migrains, he began telling about how in his ministry, the Lord has lead he and his wife to pray for women with ovarian cysts. He told of the miracles that had taken place, then asked if there was anyone there with ovarian cysts. He had the four or five of us come to the front and join hands. He laid hands on each of us, and the presence of the Lord was very real. After he prayed for everyone, he came back to me and began to speak into and over my life. He told me how that not only was there the physical pain, but also the emotional pain of it all. He said he saw me sitting on the couch in complete darkness just asking, "When, Lord? When? When will it be my time? When?" He said that I've been in darkness, but everything will become clear when the Light comes on. At that moment, I felt the gentle wave of the Spirit take over, and I went to the ground. There were other things that he prayed that my spirit bore witness to. It was amazing.

The service went on, and toward the end, I went to find Dan because he had gone to pray with others. I spotted him at the front and headed up there. As I was walking down the aisle, one of the men's deans, Ricky Fatheree, stopped me. Pastor Ricky is a 50 year old youth pastor in Gilmer, TX, and is a complete joy to be around. He works a full time job and takes his vacation every year to take his kids to camp. He stops me in the aisle with tears in his eyes and tells me that he just got through apologizing to Dan. Confused, I asked him what for. He tells me that before I ever went down to the front, the Lord told him that if Dan laid hands on my belly that I would be healed. He felt bad that he didn't tell Dan that. But the Lord is good, and it happened anyway!

There were other things that were prayed over Dan and me as well, but for time and space sake, I will save it for another post. Just know that it was a completely awesome week.

So, Friday, I finally called my sister back. She said that the reason she called Wednesday is because she wanted to tell me that Tuesday night my 13 year old niece had a dream that I had twins, and their names were Stephen and Gabriel. My jaw hit the floor. The timing of it all just amazes me.

You know, I don't know how it's all going to play out. I don't know anything except for the fact that this week has proven to me that God is in control over all the little details of our lives. I absolutely trust Him and lean on Him, not my own understanding.

I know that I know that I know one of these days I will be a mom, and clomid will not get the glory for that one.

I'm Back...Sort of

Okay, so it's been so long since I've posted, you've probably all forgotten about me!!

My official position at camp this week was being one of two of the women's deans. It was really fun, but it's really hard work, too! I had a ball. Three A.M. was the usual bed time, and 7 AM was the usual wake up time for us...oh, my, it's been awhile since those days.

The speaker was Jason Spears, and he was really good. Well, what I heard was really good. I didn't always get to be in there, for getting other things done. But I do have some really awesome stuff to share with you in a later post.

I'll be going home sometime Sunday, so I'll be here for a couple more days. The intenet service is pretty sketchy here in the lodge. I've actually been logged on here for about 30 minutes catching up with all of you, and that's about the longest I've been on in a week!

I've missed you all and have prayed for you. Love you!!!

A New Song

As I was on my way out to the camp Wednesday night, I had a great time alone with God. I sang and prayed and cried and sang some more. One of the songs that I played over and over again was this song from CFNI:

You're my beloved, you're my bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me, my love

Under my mercy come and wait
Til we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you, my child
You're beautiful to me
So beautiful to me

I sing over you my song of peace
Cast all your cares down at my feet
Come and find your rest in me

I'll breathe my life inside of you
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings
And hide you in the shadow of my strength
I'll take you to my quiet waters
I'll restore your soul
Come rest in me and be made whole

You're my beloved, you're my bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me, my love

It's Almost Time!!!

Tomorrow after work, I get to leave to go see my honey!!!

I am so excited and these are the reasons why:

I get to be with Dan for 12 days.
I don't have to go to work for 12 days.
My hair is no longer grey.
I just got a pedicure.
I'm going to get my nails done.
I lost 12 pounds!!!! (Officially...at the doctor's office...on the same dreaded scale I stepped on before)

YAY!!!!!

One point fudge pops, people, I'm telling you... :)

Before and After

No, girls, it isn't the reflection of the flash in my hair...it is my own abundant stash of silver. I thought I could live with it, but I can't. So, here are my before and after shots with my fresh "coat of paint."

Isn't it odd, though, that in the "before" picture, my eyes are distinctly blue and green, but in the "after" picture, you can't really tell. Yeah...I'm odd like that.

Hey, Friends!

Well, I will be at work today, so I wanted to give a shout out to all my peeps at church! I'll miss seeing you all and actually having a face-to-face conversation! So, since I can't see or talk with you, I'll expect updates when I get home!!! lol

Three more days until I see Dan!!! ;)

My New Obsession

Before Dan left for camp, I had gone to the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner. I wanted to get something sweet, too, but we are really trying to be careful about that. Well, I found myself in the freezer section looking...longingly staring, actually...at the Blue Bell. Believe it or not I looked away, and as if a ray of light pointed the way, my eyes fell upon it...

The Weight Watchers Giant Chocolate Fudge popsicles.

Only 1 point on the weight watcher plan, and they are ssssoooooo good.

Even Dan liked them.

When we took him to camp, we picked up some groceries for his room. He got "upset" at me because we only got one box of the fudgsicles. Our conversation went something like this:

Dan: What? Only one box?

Teresa: Babe, these will last you the week.

Dan: No, these will last me a day.

Teresa: Babe, they are only one point for a snack.

Dan: Exactly, they are only one point. That's six points a day for the whole box.

It's chocolate...how can a girl argue with that? Well, I have been able to keep it down to just one fudgsicle a day, but it is so tempting to eat more! You do not even understand...they are a dieter's dream...

This is Dedicated to the One I Love

Dear Dan~
I miss you!!! I can't wait until next week when I get to see you and talk with you and laugh with you.
Even though you aren't here physically, you still take care of me. Thank you for taking care of calling those people today and for always letting me know that we are going to be okay, one way or the other.
It's not the same without you here. For one thing, the feather bed is starting to hang off my side of the bed because you're not on the other side of the bed holding it in place! Even Rosie's not the same without you here. She hardly gives me kisses anymore because she's so sad. :(

But on the bright side...I get to see you in six days!!!! Yea!!! I can't wait. I'm so excited! And I really am looking forward to going to Indi next month! We are going to have a ball! Hopefully this year will start out better than last year...ha ha.
Well, I will close for now. It is getting late.
I love you, baby.

Time to Fess Up

Yeah...so...I have to set the record straight.

Last Friday night I had plans with my friends, but it was possible that I might have to "go see" Dan if I had a hormone surge. Well, Friday came with no surge, and I did not go out with my friends Friday night because I holed myself up in my house. I was feeling sorry for myself and did not want to see anyone or talk to anyone about anything. That's bad enough, but what's worse is that I just let everyone think that I went to Dallas so I wouldn't have to tell them the truth.

Or maybe I didn't want to face the truth.

Anyway.

Well, that's it in a nutshell. I do feel bad about it, but I can't change it. There were three or four things that hit me all at once, the main one being the whole baby-thing. I just shut down. I really thought that it would happen this month, but it didn't, and I'm moving on. We'll keep trying, and I'm sure we'll go another round next month. I think I'm just making too big of a deal of it all. I want to say it doesn't matter, but it does.

And that's about it.

I'm sorry, my friends, for hiding and not celebrating.

The Picture

I was looking at the myspace of some friends of ours who have struggled with infertility throughout their marriage. They are about to have twin girls. There was a picture of them taken on Father's Day, standing on the porch, arm in arm, her eight months pregnant. They look amazing, completely glowing and at peace. There was a comment on the picture that said,

"I wish I could go back in time and show you this picture."

Wouldn't that be amazing? If in the middle of our circumstance we could see a picture of how it's all going to turn out okay, somehow, someway. To know that one day we will stand with the sun on our faces, completely at peace, knowing that a miracle was performed by the Almighty on our behalf.

What an incredible thought.

But would it taint the outcome? Would we be the stronger people that we become in going through our trials? Would we get lazy and not do the work that is required to have our miracle? Would we still cling to the Promises that are on repeat in our head day in and day out if we know the outcome?

Or if we saw that picture, would we even recognize the peaceful faces as being our own? Would we deny the outcome that is ours because of the overwhelming feeling of unworthiness, or would we begin to put our faith in the outcome instead of the Provider?

Jesus,
Help me to trust You and You alone. Keep my focus pure. Be my strength. Hold my hand. I depend on You and lean on Your everlasting promises. I need You...I can't make it on my own. I know I'll see my picture in Your timing, but until then, hold me close....

Happy 4th!!!

Hope everyone had a great celebration of independence on this special day. I had a good day at work and then got to spend some time with my special friends that came into town for a visit. I am truly a blessed woman to be able to have the freedoms I have in such a great country.

God bless America, land that I love...

Company's Coming!

I'm gonna have a visitor!!!

My best friend Kristi and her family are coming for 4th of July! Yea!!! They are driving in this afternoon and have to go back home Thursday morning. The bad thing is that I have to work everyday. :( It's okay, though, at least we get to have some time.

We have known each other since I guess we were about 12 or 13. Our parents are both pastors and liked to play cards together, so it started out to where we kinda "had" to hang out together. Then over the years, we grew a lot closer and by the time we graduated from high school we were pretty much inseperable. And we lived in different towns! Oh, the stories we could tell on each other...

We got married within three months of each other, the same year...1994. We've both been through a lot, and we haven't always gotten to see each other very much, but we always stay in contact and keep up with each other. She has two beautiful kids, Camden and Kenzee.

I'm so excited!!!!

Home Alone

Well, it's just me and the dog-child. Dan is at camp.

We left Sunday morning about 8:15 and got into Arlington around noon to do a little shopping. We had our heart set on eating at our favorite place...PF Chang's. Well, I should say one of our favorite places; Cheesecake Factory ranks way on up there as well. By the time we got our shopping done, it was about 2:30, so we figured the rush would have already been over by then. Not so. We also thought that if there was a wait, we could just sit at the bar. Again, not so. The bar was completely full, and there was, like, an hour wait. We did not stay. :( Which kinda ended up being a good thing because as soon as we left Chang's, a huge storm started rolling in. We beat the storm out to Waxahachie, picked up Chicken Express and headed on out to the camp. There for a while there was actually a tornado warning for around Waxahachie. Later on when we went back in to town to go to HEB, we saw a lot of wind damage and some of the roads were flooded. I'm glad my car was faster than that storm!!!

We got Dan settled in his room, then we had dinner with a lot of the crew that was already out there. I left the camp about 7:00 the next morning and headed back to San Angelo to go to work. I didn't want to come home without Dan.

This time is always so bittersweet. We love camp. We have always loved camp. It's where we spent our summers growing up and where we met. It' s where I learned how to get over the fear of singing in front of other people, and where Dan and I were both called into ministry. Some of our strongest friendships were established and developed at camp. So it just makes sense that one of the things that Dan loves to do is be the medic out at the youth camp for the month of July. It makes sense, but I miss him. My world is not the same without him here. I will probably go up there the end of this week or next week, then I will spend the last week of July there during my vacation. So it's not like I won't see him for a whole month, but you know, a half-empty bed every night until then is lonely. :(

Editor's Note: We actually grew up going to Roaring Springs Youth Camp in Roaring Springs, TX, where, by the way, are no roaring springs, just a dried up river bed, after, of course, you've driven 10 miles on a dirt road, over six cattle guards and a rickety weak bridge (affectionately known as "the seven day bridge" because the sign said "Week Bridge"). It is the camp for the West Texas district, which is a far cry from the resort that the North Texas district has, which is where Dan is right now. And if you think I'm exaggerating, ask DeLana. She doesn't lie. Not that I lie, either, I'm just saying...