And, no, I'm not talking about the old Janet Jackson song.
I'm talking about this thing I've been holding on so tightly to for so long.
Control over how things "look" or "seem" or "appear to be."
Control over what people would "think" if I did this or that.
Control over what "they" would say if I actually did what I felt the Lord leading me to do.
Control over my life, my family, my job.
Why do I hold on so tightly when none of it is mine to begin with?
I feel my grip loosening, but when will I let go completely? I catch glimpses of what the Lord can do when I fully trust in Him. I feel Him ever so gently drawing me out of this place I've become so comfortable in, but when I feel the gentle nudging to do something, when will I be able to immediately stand up and say, "Yes, I'll go!" without first wondering how it will all take place, or what will so-and-so think, or where will the funds come from, or how will we live, or any of the other million questions that make me hesitate?
HHHEEEELLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!
5 comments:
It's funny to hear you say that. Control. I really struggle with that as well. I really think this is the reason God has had us in a place of uncertainty for so long. Once he points us in a direction. We will not question, why or how. We will just start running in the direction he is pointing.
i think that "control" is the whole point to the journey. He wants us to give total control of everything, without thought. i can let "it" go, but for some dumb reason i keep picking "it" back up.
but i think God is so big He finds us and keeps us no matter where we are.
i think the point also is to just keep giving "it" up, in faith knowing that He is in control.
my 'consultation' went well. i gave her a written personal policy about the immediate issue (scheduling) and let her know that i was trying sincerely to be fair. thanks for the empathy. i know you know. i may ask you for advice later. i really love my job, but adjustment periods are tough work. i'm playing a tougher guy than they are used to seeing me play. the eye rolling thing... well, hopefully i won't have to pluck them from her head!
I always had problems with controling my worship time with God during church. what would people say if I acted the way i felt and not like everyone else. then i went to a football game and watched people make complete fools of them selves. No one seems to critize them. So my new rule was i can act craze for God and do what he wants. Because in reality they should not be looking at you if they are doing what they are suppose to be doing. I want to act the biggest fool for God and not just some football team that i can't even say the players know me. that help a lot and has been my new rule. Maybe this will help and maybe it was totally just for me!!!
It's partly our personalites, other part...the stronghold that holds just out of the reach of His grip. What lies inside that grip is our destiny...
I sense it often...what God can truly do through me if I would but let go.
Completely.
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