I feel a change...

By the way, the tunes that are playing are from my walking playlist from my iPod. Just random stuff.

I haven't really said much about this, so consider this my first official post about training for the 10k.

Training.

That's a pretty funny word to me right now. Only because I don't consider myself "training", even though I am, technically. The reason why Dan and I are going to do this is for us. For our family that will be. So even as we are preparing, training if you will, for the 10k, we are establishing a change of life.

Personally, I have always been a big girl. I occasionally make the joke that I was born in a size 16...oh, to be that size again! I'd consider that skinny at this point in life. I've always been picked on and given a hard time about my size in school (the 16 that I would be proud to be now), which has made me very self conscious. But rather than cry about it, I've thought that, well, if people are going to crack jokes, I might as well laugh about it too, and I'd rather go ahead and crack the joke myself and break the ice rather than hear hurtful things that others say. It's okay if I say it...that makes a lot of sense, huh?

Athletics in school scared me to death. I remember one year in jr. high my nerves were so bad I threw up every day before athletics. Every day. I wasn't very coordinated and the biggest girl in my class, so being the last to finish everything, if I was able to finish it at all, or the last one chosen, or whatever was a huge embarassment. I hated it. So in high school, I chose not to put myself in that situation. I fulfilled whatever requirement there was for graduation purposes and that was it.

Now I look back and regret that I didn't push myself harder.

I want to finish this race.

It doesn't matter to me if I finish it running or walking. I just want to finish. I want to prove to myself that I can do it..that I'm not the butt of the joke anymore.

It also helps that there's this certain group of people I know and love who will be there running/walking for their own reasons and that we will all support each other until the end. How great is that?

As far as "training" goes, I've been walking in our complex. The trail I've been taking is right at a mile. That's all I'm doing right now. I'll add more as I go, and I do want to eventually incorporate some running, but that's later on. Right now I'm on a running restriction from when I hurt my foot from falling at work.

Right now, it's just a mile.

1 mile down.

5.2 to go.