Okay, so Wednesday, right smack dab in the middle of camp, I had gone to my room for just a minute and saw that I had a voicemail on my cell phone. It was my sister telling me that there was no emergency, but she had something to tell me, call her when I could. I decided I'd call her later. Keep this in mind...I'll come back to it later.
Usually, I wasn't able to get ready for service until it had already started. Once we made sure the girls were out of their rooms and the cabins were locked, we were able to go get dressed. As I was getting ready, I saw a picture in my mind of me being prayed for to have children. Immediately, my defenses went up because past experiences have shown me that if I psych myself up to be prayed for, and it doesn't happen, it's hard to deal with afterward. Also, I had been told it was going to be "Holy Spirit night", so I didn't really think that he would be calling anyone up for healing. But the picture in my mind was still there, and I felt peace in my heart, so I told the Lord I would do whatever He wanted that night.
It turns out that it was not specifically "Holy Spirit night". Jason spoke on trusting the Lord with all your heart, leaning not on your own understanding...I needed everything he spoke about. At the end, he asked everyone that needed healing in their bodies to stand up. I stood. He had the band come up and lead us back into a time of worship.
Everyone just began worshipping. Some kids just began going up to front. Because of me coming in late and the limited seating, Dan and I were not sitting together. As I was worshipping, I felt him grab my hand and leading me up to the front. Normally, I would have resisted, but I told the Lord I'd do whatever He wanted me to do, so I went. Together, we just lifted our hands and worshipped, then the Holy Spirit came over Dan, and he laid his hand on my tummy and prayed powerfully. It was a very special time.
The speaker then began calling people to the front with certain ailings, like migrains. I thought about going back to my seat, but I just felt like I needed to stay. After he prayed for the migrains, he began telling about how in his ministry, the Lord has lead he and his wife to pray for women with ovarian cysts. He told of the miracles that had taken place, then asked if there was anyone there with ovarian cysts. He had the four or five of us come to the front and join hands. He laid hands on each of us, and the presence of the Lord was very real. After he prayed for everyone, he came back to me and began to speak into and over my life. He told me how that not only was there the physical pain, but also the emotional pain of it all. He said he saw me sitting on the couch in complete darkness just asking, "When, Lord? When? When will it be my time? When?" He said that I've been in darkness, but everything will become clear when the Light comes on. At that moment, I felt the gentle wave of the Spirit take over, and I went to the ground. There were other things that he prayed that my spirit bore witness to. It was amazing.
The service went on, and toward the end, I went to find Dan because he had gone to pray with others. I spotted him at the front and headed up there. As I was walking down the aisle, one of the men's deans, Ricky Fatheree, stopped me. Pastor Ricky is a 50 year old youth pastor in Gilmer, TX, and is a complete joy to be around. He works a full time job and takes his vacation every year to take his kids to camp. He stops me in the aisle with tears in his eyes and tells me that he just got through apologizing to Dan. Confused, I asked him what for. He tells me that before I ever went down to the front, the Lord told him that if Dan laid hands on my belly that I would be healed. He felt bad that he didn't tell Dan that. But the Lord is good, and it happened anyway!
There were other things that were prayed over Dan and me as well, but for time and space sake, I will save it for another post. Just know that it was a completely awesome week.
So, Friday, I finally called my sister back. She said that the reason she called Wednesday is because she wanted to tell me that Tuesday night my 13 year old niece had a dream that I had twins, and their names were Stephen and Gabriel. My jaw hit the floor. The timing of it all just amazes me.
You know, I don't know how it's all going to play out. I don't know anything except for the fact that this week has proven to me that God is in control over all the little details of our lives. I absolutely trust Him and lean on Him, not my own understanding.
I know that I know that I know one of these days I will be a mom, and clomid will not get the glory for that one.
one of the pecan trees gave out.
